random moments

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 00:11:10 GMT

rejection cuts like a knife to the throat

You reel me in, only to cast me off again

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 16:45:49 GMT

I hate the fact that you never say what you actually mean.
I hate the fact that you use sarcasm as your #1 weapon.
I hate the fact that you're never consistent.
I hate the fact that you put up a show of ostentation whenever you've accomplished anything
I hate the fact that you ramble to me with your random quotes
I hate the fact that we can never seem to get our timing right.
I hate the fact that you see right through me,
never casting your glances in my direction.

but i never hated you.

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 21:40:29 GMT

jealousy is a monster

and i'm trying to drive it out of my head.

other random thoughts floating through my head:

--i've been feeling so artistically frustrated,

knowing that my piece will inevitably turn into a piece of crap has not

encouraged me: not one bit.

--people always seems to see right through me.

i fucking hate that.

have you ever had one of those days where you wake up in the morning and things just don't feel right. like your totally out of your element and you just know that something will go wrong. well yea, it's been one of those days.

i wish i could move on to a brighter note. but it saddens me to say, that there has been no bright note today.

i feel crappy and unwanted

and this is my only way of venting that without

bothering/hurting/annoying-the-shit-out-of anyone

so please try to bear with me and this long entry.

the end.

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 03:07:58 GMT

so what if i told you that i still liked this guy

who i should be over already,
but i just can't seem to get him out of my head.

and he dominates my every thought

and what if i told you that i want to fucking go back to normal.
but i can't because i have this hope inside of me

it tells me that maybe he'll like me again
maybe we can start over again.

and what if i told you that i replay the moments that we shared in my mind,

hoping that i'll catch a mistake that i made
hoping that i'll figure out what i did wrong

man, hopes are for losers.

so what if i told you that i'm still stuck on this guy
that i don't want to be stuck on anymore

because it hurts.

and i have this emptiness inside of me
that can't be filled.

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 21:36:48 GMT

lately, i've just been feeling so numb....

to everything.

i feel like the entire world is traveling at 100 mph and they're all leaving me behind.

i've been feeling so burned out and tired.

tired of school

tired of my family.

eh, i just want to go back to normal, but i don't know how to get there.

i can't let petty little things have such a great affect on me.

i mean, it's been like 5 days already, you would think that that would be enough time to get over things.

but apparently, that isn't the case.

::sigh::

and it'll be just as quiet when I leave

as it was when I first got here

idon't expect anything ,

i don't expect anything to change when i leave.

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 23:38:56 GMT

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 21:41:04 GMT

and so, i am a faded memory

merely a name on a list.

because when you look back, two months from now

you won't even remember my face.

one day

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 17:31:42 GMT

a boy met a girl.

they watched a walk to remember together
and shared a box of pocky sticks.

they kissed.

and in that moment,
she knew that she loved him

she knew that what they had
was real.

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 01:06:16 GMT

i wish that people wouldn't send mixed signals

and that they would just be able to open up to you.

i hate the fact that they get frustrated because you don't understand them, but how are you supposed to when they won't tell you what's wrong?

people can't guess what's in your head.

and i just wish that you'd be able to talk to me.
i mean really talk to me.

and i hate it when you know that its probably not their fault for the lack of communication.
somehow along the way, you allowed the disconnection to happen.

the silence slowy deteriorates our relationship...

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 01:37:25 GMT

if someone said that they missed you alot, would you place importance on it?

i mean, people say that prhase all the time. but do they really mean it?
hmmm...

well, being the person that i am, i'm going to place significance on it.

!!!!!

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 20:52:14 GMT

i love my new journal.